Category Archives: Current Events

Sochi Olympics Curse Tied To Mishandled Dragon Egg

Some media outlets have honestly assumed that the first Sochi Olympics mishap occurred within the first 10 minutes of the Opening Ceremony and then swiftly descended into chaos shortly thereafter.

The doomed course on which the Olympics found itself was actually determined years earlier. One of my agents was tasked with covering the entire games, starting from the initial construction phase of Fisht Stadium through the end of the Winter Paralympics. The events that took place are both terrifying yet eerily plausible.
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Pygmy Race Discovered In Google Server Room

One of our undercover agents has graced us with this disturbing report straight from his position in Google HQ, where he helps manage their data center. A pygmy race of 6 inch tall, bipedal, sasquatch-like hunter-gatherers has been found living in their servers rooms.

What makes the Google and Facebook data centers, or “bit barns,” different than other traditional data centers is the way server cooling is managed. Standard electrically powered cooling units are replaced with a direct access to outside air. This method does save on electricity costs, but also has the added downside of causing weather conditions inside, from humidity, to clouds, and even rain (which happened in the Facebook data center[1]).

Our reporter believes it is due to these very real weather conditions that the pygmy sasquatches have not only lived but thrived. Continue reading →