Category Archives: Lost & Found

Nationwide Employee Of The Month Outed As Bear

Sourced from a newspaper article, transcribed by Mr. X.

DAYTON, OH—Bob Calhoun, insurance agent for eight years of the local Stalsworth and Associates Nationwide Insurance branch, was discovered to be a bear Wednesday.

Susan Charles, the payroll and workforce manager of the Stalsworth and Associates branch, came across proof Bob’s true heritage after finding his original hiring document behind a cabinet. The document, which had never been filed, was missing the social security, address, and citizenship information, simply including a name and gender: Bob Calhoun, male. A brief glance at a few weeks worth of security footage confirmed Charles’ fear – Bob was a bear.
Continue reading

Accidental Summoning Leaves Demon Disappointed

Sourced from a newspaper article, transcribed by Mr. X.

KIRKLAND, WA—Police are wrapping up their investigation of a bizarre woodside incident that has left a local Wiccan community struggling to find answers. At around 2:15 AM Sunday morning, three women identifying themselves as followers of the Wicca religion allegedly summoned a demon roughly 12-15 feet in height, and completely black, like a shadow, with smoky white eyes and shiny teeth.
Continue reading